aww my last post makes me sad. well k. cousin made into program. don't know how i feel about it because he just sleeps all day in class and it's getting annoying. haven't asked mom for new tires since then so i dunno. i'll ask when it starts raining lol. my bf's shaved head is growing on me. but everyone and i mean everyone shaves their heads now so... yeah. birthday didn't suck. brothers friends didn't come. had fun. i still want to hide in closet but for other reasons. i might be diabetic and i'm scared.

in other news. my total grade for first part of class is 93%. i got a fucking A! i have the highest grade! yusssssssssssssssssss =)

and that is all.







p.10.03

_made into pt program. very nervous because cousin didn't make it in along with me. hoping he gets in last minute so i'll have a friend.

_mom won't get me new tires unless i quit smoking.

_boyfriend shaved head. knows how i feel about shaved heads. am wrong. he looks ok. won't know for sure til see in person. have only seen cell pictures.

_birthday going to suck. plan to karaoke with friends. except that half the people there will be brother's friends instead of mines? how does that make sense....

_i want to hide in closet.

_this is not.......................

i hope all this sadness is just birthday blues.

waiting.

for a tear-free day.

a happy moment.

i hope it comes soon.
----------

i've noticed i get a lot of hits from my entry about my car problems... eh ok. well, i've barely fixed any of those things. in fact the only thing i did get fixed was the window.

new list of problems:
_tires. rear driver has nail. rear passenger keeps losing air. time to replace. has it even been a year since last? ai yah.
_brakes. it's bad. i keep driving and it's digging in to the rotor. i ordered all the parts and ready to do it except i need someone to jack my car. it's been a month since my brother said he'd help me. he keeps postponing it to the next weekend. argh.
_spark plugs. have them. missing one tool. been lazy to get it. should do soon. almost 120,000 miles. omg.
_i'm tired of my steering wheel play. been looking it up online. most likely worn flexible coupling. hopefully that's it.
_need new wheel sensor! yup, i'm driving around with no stability control. sweet.
_stupid windshield wiper fluid tank thingy's pump is leaking or it died. i poured a shitload of that stupid fluid and found a puddle on the ground. ugh.
_have service engine light on. i hope its nothing serious so i can ignore it. well i've been ignoring it for about 20000 miles now. yikes.
_need to change oil soon. easy peasy.
_maybe i should flush transmission and all that good stuff. expensive.
_water stains. i know i can get it off the windows, but i dunno how to get it off the body. maybe i can't. which sucks. i don't wash my car because as soon as it dries, it looks like it never was washed. stupid hard water stains. although i washed it today. it looks nice. except my driver side since thats the side that gets hit by the dumb sprinklers.

i think there's more but i need some sleep. picking my mom from airport in 10 hours. i was kinda missing her until i realized she'd be back. i know she'll be screaming at me tomorrow. i must remind myself to not be so fragile and ignore her. well it's not like anything that she will be yelling at me for, is my fault. somehow tho, she will turn shit around and it'll be my fault. i dunno. we'll see.


----------
p7/13-17

this is how much my bf cares about me....

i want to cut my throat out.

why?

what? wow you really pay attention to me. thanks.

fuckin lakers lost again



-------------------------------------
p: 5/12-19

personal note.

p3/10-15

i seriously want to quit smoking.

i don't know if i can.