i am so tired. i feel bad because i keep avoiding my friends. i don't answer my phone. i just want to be alone right now.

i'm so stressed out too because of school. i had to drop today's class because i overslept. now i need to find three more units to add. bf suggested his japanese class (many times) and i guess i'll try to. i don't really have very many options.

yesterday was my first day back. i had a lab orientation. while i was at orientation, my bf needed a ride to school so my bro picked him up. i got out and sat there waiting for 2 hours because we had no idea how long his class was. i was pissed off because i told him repeatedly that i had an early morning class the next day and needed my sleep. when he got out he walked his friend to his car and was trying to get me to go there. i didn't understand WHERE the hell he was talking about so i told him to just go to my car. when he finally did, he got all pissy and shit. we started arguing... when i dropped him off, i told him to get the ffx game that he borrowed and he was just like whatever. he came back and handed it to my bro instead of me. but then he was like, are you mad at me? i said... are you? he goes, no.. are you? and i started smiling and said noooooooooo

yeah it was stupid.

a couple hours later i drive back to his house cuz i didn't want to be stuck in traffic for more than 2 hours if i left in the morning. something happened so i didn't leave my house til about 3am. i thought i'd get there and fall asleep... maybe a lil suttin suttin =P but no. i got there and we did the suttin suttin shit til like 5am. i was so tired. and THAT is how i overslept. stupid bf... it was all his fault.

jk. i know deep down i wanted things to go this way. i'm so scared of taking that class. i don't know why! i'm stressing so bad about a lot of little things that i shouldn't be. hello, year of the monkey. it's supposed to be a good year.... right? hrm.

oh yeah. this morning i asked him when we're gonna get married. his response was... "when i'm done with grad school" are you kidding me?? i told him we'd probably not have kids because by that time, there will be lots of complications and stuff. seems like he wants his own kids... even if they're not with me and my eggs. jk. i dunno about kids though. sometimes i feel like i'd love to have some... other times... i just want my chihuahuas. i guess i'll figure it out as i get OLDER. so if we decide that we want to get married... it ain't happening til i turn almost 30. i guess that's not bad since gwen was i think 32 or 33 when she did... =P hey, i <3 gwen.

anyway.......................................

i feel like i can sleep through this whole weekend.

bf and i ordered titanium rings last week and i just received them yesterday. they're beautiful but sadly, mine is way too big. it's really loose. i mean, they're not loose enough that they just fall off... but it's noticable. to resize it, it has to be remade... that costs another $35. that's $35 i don't have.

=(

i am so broke. i have one dollar in my checking account. i'm used to it though, seeing as i don't even have a job!

school starts in a week. i thought i had TWO weeks but i was wrong! i'm not ready to start school... but i can't wait to go. is that weird? i hate being in this house... but i don't want to go out. whatever.

bf is pissing me off. he talks to my friends more than i do. so what if it's just aim. they still exchange words. they talked about working out. since he had that accident, he can't workout. so i think he got extra pissy about talking about working out... and me not working out even though i am ablebodied. and then he started harping on my smoking. i'll smoke if i want to. he even told me that he wouldn't marry me if i smoke. i got him moded because we weren't planning on marrying anyway. i thought we didn't need to be married.

wooo i've been so freaking lazy lately.

dec 31. my brothers and i went to bf's house. we were supposed to go to downtown disney and meet up with his friends. turns out none of them could go except for bf's best friend. so we picked his ass up and bought beer and drank at bf's house. that's pretty much it. drank, watch some tv, play some video games....

jan 4. our four year anniversary! he had wanted me to go over there early but my mom took my car. i didn't get there til about 4pm. he wanted me to come over early so we could go shopping... for a necklace! he remembered me pointing at something and saying i wanted it. i don't really want it anymore though hhehe so we walked around looking for something else. i couldn't decide so he told me i could think about it and buy it later =) he was really sweet that day/night. i got home at about 3:30am. he called me to make sure i got home alright and we ended up talking on the phone til 6am. damn, we haven't done that in years. literally! LOL it was a great talk. about ex's hehehehe i dunno, we cool like that =)

last night we decided to get plain bands for both of us! so now people are going to think i'm married. dah well =P i think we're getting them tomorrow. my brothers and i are going over there to watch a movie and eat. yay =)