i found something about a cousin of mine. her family doesn't want anyone else to know which includes us but her brother told us in confidentiality. ever since hearing the news, i can't stop thinking about it. now, if i can't stop thinking about it... i wonder how much more they are all thinking about it. she's an angel. she is the most innocent person i know. she's also just fifteen. i didn't know fifteen year olds could get breast cancer. what.the.fuck.

i was told that they got most of it out and it looks good. that's good right? i still can't stop thinking about it though. how? how? how?

---

last night he actually asked me if we should've just stayed friends. friends. he fucking said friends. wtf? ok, so is he thinking we should've stayed friends? the last 4 years and 8 months... we should've stayed friends???

of course he said he was just kidding. oh. ok. that's nice.

and again with the non-support from me. i'm thinking he needs his own support group! OMFG.

i'm so confused.