i am so scared of something. i don't know of what yet.

i need some help. i know i'm pretty anti-social. but it's getting bad. i'm actually scared of going to malls. i used to just tell myself that i hate shopping. which is true, but if it's just that... i shouldn't be shaky and avoiding everyone's eyes right? oh boy.

i'm even scared of calling for help from customer service. how the fuck am i supposed to survive on my own? i can't have my mother call for everything forever. i can't have my bf or brothers get stuff for me forever. although it would be nice. *sigh*

how did i get like this?