i am so scared of something. i don't know of what yet.

i need some help. i know i'm pretty anti-social. but it's getting bad. i'm actually scared of going to malls. i used to just tell myself that i hate shopping. which is true, but if it's just that... i shouldn't be shaky and avoiding everyone's eyes right? oh boy.

i'm even scared of calling for help from customer service. how the fuck am i supposed to survive on my own? i can't have my mother call for everything forever. i can't have my bf or brothers get stuff for me forever. although it would be nice. *sigh*

how did i get like this?

he says i'm not supportive. what the hell? just because i wasn't enthusiastic while he was telling me about his class today. wtf?

then he tells me how i 'm never supportive and i'm negative... etc... etc... etc....

oh my god.

sometimes i just wanna yell at him. i want to tell him how he hurts me. how fa;lskjfda;lskjfdaskl

how he just pisses me off.

today marks three years and five months.

i got an email from my ex-boyfriend. it wasn't to me specifically, but to all the people in his address book. it didn't say much. just that he was doing good... he attached a picture of him and his fiance. i didn't even know he had one.

is it just me? or is everyone getting married?