my fuckin dad.... i hate him. he gambled his whole paycheck and he has the nerve to yell at my mom.... he's such a jerk. i wish he would just leave. i know that's a really mean thing to say, but he really needs a reality check. ARGH! he makes me so mad.

i seriously wanted to drive my car into a pole or something. i wanted to die. but i thought, if i survived... there would be hell to pay. so not today.

he made me go over to his house at like five in the morning yesterday. we spent the whole day sleeping =)

he says his papa likes me. whenever his homegirls come over his dad trips... hahahahhaa

i've pretty much neglected this blog. the things that are really haunting me right now have nothing to do with my boyfriend *gasp*

well, there's school that starts on tuesday. i kinda can't wait. i'm surprisingly a little excited. this is a new year and instead of hoping i do good.. i *will* do good. i'm not gonna swear up and down about kicking my own ass if i get a bad grade or even drop a class because none of that will happen. i am going to do great. =)

the haunting stuff have to do with questions with no answers. i constantly have them. again, not about my boyfriend. just about life, maybe past lives? you know, stuff like that =P

hmm.. i thought i'd go without really talking about the boyfriend in this entry... but i guess i'll say something hahahaa. his credit card is maxed out... at 3000 bucks. he will never pay that shit off. which is why NEVER get a credit card lol

there's this chinese proverb that says every minute a person makes you wait is a minute you will spend thinking about their bad points.

uhh... yeah. hahahha

i ended up not going to any malls or any stores. oh well, maybe next week. we went out to eat with his friend and his new girlfriend. she's so nice... and real talkative. =) but she's so cool. hahhaha so yeah... i guess going out with other couples is not so bad. =P

i must be weak. =P

yes, i'm going to his house. mainly cuz i wanna go shopping. the malls around here are tired and have no stores. so yeah....

grr... i called him a couple times today. i even left a vmail tellin him to call me back. and guess what... he never called. whatever. maybe i won't go over there tomorrow. maybe i'll turn off my cell so he can't ask me to come over. maybe i'll just move somewhere and forget about his ass. okay i'm getting carried away.

supposedly we're gonna go eat or something with his homeboy and his girlfriend tomorrow. eww couple stuff? i've never done that before lol my friend's gonna be at her bf's house and if i go over to my bf's house, she wants me to go pick her up cuz she knows he's gonna be in and out of the house and she doesn't want to be stuck there watchin tv all day by herself lol her bf lives about 10-15 minutes away from mines.

duh why didn't we think of that before. pick each other up when one of us needs saving from her boring boyfriend. =X

dammit, i haven't gotten my school crap yet. you know schedule, parking permit, etc.. i think school starts in like two weeks. and damn, i still haven't gotten my fuckin traffic school list. i gotta remember to call those retards tomorrow.

yeah.. maybe instead of going over there... i should stay here and take care of my shit.

i bet ya anything i'll be going over there. =X

oh yeah... he says this year is THE YEAR.

the year for what, i ask.

"THE YEAR"

he said something about everything's gonna be alright.. he's gonna gain 20 more pounds. he's gonna be massive... cut.. buff... whatever the word he used.

i'm back from a weekend away with the family.twas cool as cool as it can get being a family thing.

i talked to him once while i was away... on saturday. he told me he called on friday.. (which he did... my bro picked up and told me but i forgot to call) he said he wanted to say happy anni.

mm'kay.

i think i want to go to vegas with him. might be fun. =P

i finally tried a vanilla flavored cig today (technically yesterday) not what i expected (i dunno what i expected) but it's okay.

i spent 80 bucks today mainly on food! 30 at the restaurant. 35 at the movies. another 20 at another food place. jesus christ. next time i take a brother out, i am goin to just take that brother out. i had to pay for both brothers, my cousin and boyfriend. there goes my clothes money. bf says what do you need clothes for? what an ass. he kept saying "let's play pool..." and whatever. i need clothes punk. i NEVER get clothes. he claims he'll buy me some before school starts. with what money?

i'm just upset right now. can ya tell? oh yeah... i'm laying off the sex stuff. everytime he like gets soft, i automatically think about what he said. it's like he stabs me in my heart and twists the knife. he swears it's not because of me.. yeah whatever. he said that before but when he told me that crap the day we had "the talk" how can i believe him when he says it's not me.

today's our anniversary.. i'm not expecting anything from him but i wish he'd do something special. or just do something. write me a letter. i dunno. we never make anything a big deal. i love complaining about that, don't i.