i hate my dot. i cry at everything. my stupid fear gets out. i start thinking about when people i love will die, what would i do? i'm insanely scared of when any of my dog dies. i have no idea how i'll handle it. i want to start bawling just thinking about it. i also start to think about how shitty my life is. what a big fucking loser i am. i don't get it though. this usually happens to me before and during my dot. this time it is happening towards the end. my hormones are so crazy, i hate it.

so i see i haven't updated since august. how terrible.

our first year of marriage was interesting. we fought/argued more in that year than the whole 10 previous years we were together! it was fine though because it totally brought us closer. i had a hard time learning to sleep with him though. hes a bed hogger! i wake up at least once a night to tell him to move over LOL

i'm in nursing school! it doesn't really feel like it since the classes i'm taking at the moment are still gen ed. i take nursing fundamentals in the third quarter. i'm excited and fucking scared!!

i still don't have a car.

or a baby =(