i was hoping he had planned a little surprise for me or something... but no. i guess when i went to buy cough suppressant at walmart he found an opportunity to get a lil cake and get the birthday thing over with. i asked him all week if he could take me to get a pedicure today, and he said he would. but today, he kept asking what i wanted to do even after i tell him... and now he's sleeping.

and we gotta wait around the house now because his parents want to take me out to dinner which i love but... let's just say their and my taste in restaurants are way different.

i'm a little sad. cuz i thought he'd do something. anything. not a card. not a gift. nada.

i'm so freaking bored. this is the worst birthday ever.

I still cry.

grandpa, i'm sorry that I didn't spend a lot of time with you last time I saw you. I was a stupid brat that was sure I'd have another next time. I feel so guilty. I'll never forget how happy you were to see us that you were crying. I loved how proud and excited you were to show me your house. especially that third floor... you had to climb those steep ass stairs that you had no business climbing but you wanted to show me. I'm sorry you never got to meet my husband and that you won't get to play with my future kids. I'm so sorry I took time for granted. I hope you know you were loved. at least you are with grandma again and that kinda makes me smile. especially now that I know you used to walk about 50 miles just to date her :)

i feel like i don't belong anywhere.

i cant stop crying. it upsets him. i dont know whats wrong with me.

i thought he'd be different. he doesn't help me clear the room. i'm so frustrated.

i'm a sucky blogger! lol

so everything i had to look forward to this year, has already happened. such as, my cousin's wedding, sister's hs graduation, and DISNEYLAND!! i have nothing else to look forward to lol jk

so i heard the hiring freeze has been lifted, but i haven't gotten any calls yet. i'm supposed to call anyway because of my name change, but i forget to, and i'm too scared to call. i kind of don't want to work because i totally forgot everything about being a freaking psych tech. at this point, i just want to go back to school. i'm thinking about going to some private place that costs an arm, a leg and the rest of my body lol i just want to finish that shit up. the sooner, the better... so we can get our own place and start making babies hahahahaha

i hope my mom fixes my car soon... but my bros say the way my dad is acting, he seems like he wants to keep the car for himself. why? he has his own and he drives my sister's car... why does he want mine??

my luck is supposed to change this month, but nothing is happening yet. ohh, maybe i should buy some lotto tickets LOL wouldn't that be so crazy if i won? a girl can dream....

mom opened my mail. told me i got a score of 82 on qap. she thinks its not so good. everyone else is telling me it's good enough, and i shouldn't worry.

except now...


there's another fucking hiring freeze. fucking california....

i'm always forgetting about this blog!

we've been married for a month!

i ended up getting a cute short wedding dress.

we did get married in hawaii! it was wonderful =)

still no job, but finally did qap! results in 4-6 weeks.

hopefully i get a call for a hiring interview!!

car is out of commission due to whining noises. ugh.

that's it for now!